From Here to Health

My journey back from autoimmune disease

Health History- Continued

on May 24, 2012

I think we left off with my visit to the Rheumatologist.  I had been to rheumatologists in the past.  I had actually tested positive for rheumatoid arthritis before I ever had my kids.  Then years later I was tested again and it was negative!  It was all very confusing.  They tested me for RA again and it was negative, but my SSB numbers came back elevated and along with my list of symptoms was enough to get a me an official diagnosis of Sjodgren’s Syndrome.   I had never heard of Sjodgren’s!  I was relieved to find out that my condition had a name because for me that felt like a first step in trying to treat it/manage it.  However, as I learned more I began to get really scared.  My doctor told me I had the most dangerous complication from Sjodgren’s which was vasculitis.  That was why my arms and legs hurt all the time.  She also explained that the ringing in my ears was due to inflammation in my orbic nerve.  She continued by telling me that her only other patient who presented with my symptoms (who was also my age) began having mini strokes.  Mini strokes!!  I was 32 with 3 small children.  Mini strokes were literally my worst nightmare.  I may be the only one here, but I had actually had thoughts about what the worst thing to happen to me could ever be, and it was mini strokes.  I had this picture in my mind of being trapped in my own mind, unable to communicate, but still lucid on the inside.  Watching as my family used all their time, money and energy to take care of me, all the while making them miserable.  It was horrible. And now here was the person of authority telling me that that was what was going to happen to me.  I was a wreck!  Isn’t it funny how what you think about in your mind will try to com to pass?  I have found that over and over again since I began on this journey.  Needless to say I began to change the thoughts that I let set up camp in my mind.

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