From Here to Health

My journey back from autoimmune disease

First Soccer Game

on September 7, 2013

So Finn had her first soccer game this morning.  Promise me no judgement for what I am about to say, but….she sucked!  I know that is probably super harsh to say about a 6-year-old, but it’s true.  Don’t get me wrong, she looked cute in her uniform and  I was proud of her regardless, but it would be dishonest to say anything other than…she sucked!  The game as a whole was pretty hard to watch. It was 11-1 when I quit keeping up with the score.  I actually had to disengage by the fourth quarter because I didn’t want to be one of those parents screaming, “Just kick the freakin’ ball!!!”  I think I was judging myself for not being one of those moms who don’t care how their kid performs and just wants them to have fun.  I definitely want her to have fun, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her to engage and do her best. And kick the ball.  I REALLY wanted her to kick the ball! Maybe soccer just isn’t her thing?  She’s good at lots of things so maybe it was just odd to see her try something she didn’t have a natural aptitude for?  I’m bringing this up on a “health” blog because I believe that our thoughts about ourselves are powerful and this situation had me judging myself for not being the “perfect” mom.  I didn’t yell at her.  Or shame her.  Or make any negative comment at all.  But I also didn’t gush on and on about how great she was (like I heard some other parents doing) when she honestly wasn’t great.  Was I supposed to?  I did hug and kiss her sweaty little body and ask her if she had fun and she said yes.  So I left it at that.  Until we got home.  Then I told her I would take her to get frozen yogurt after the next game if she kicked the ball 3 times.  Was that wrong? I’m trying to remember that God gave her to me specifically for a reason.  I am the “perfect” mother for her.  When I compare myself to other people (perfect soccer moms in this situation, but I can find someone to judge myself against for any situation), it never works out in my favor.  There is always someone seemingly doing better than me.  Looking better than me.  Performing better than me.  Achieving more than me.  I always feel better when I’m not comparing myself to others, but living confidently in my own skin.  This is really hard to do on a consistent basis.  It’s one of those things I do for a season and then something comes along to disrupt it.  This seems to be a lesson that I  need to learn over and over again.  One of many:)  And while I would never say it to her now, I hope when she is grown, we can talk and  laugh about the things she sucked at because she is so confident in her skin that those things will just roll of her back.

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