From Here to Health

My journey back from autoimmune disease

ED Day 9

Finn made me breakfast in bed this morning.  She didn’t get to be very creative since my diet is so limited, but she didn’t seem to care.  It was the standard turkey and spinach with chives and a drizzle of garlic oil.  It was especially good since I didn’t have to make it myself.  I look a little naked in the picture below because I am.  Finn had told me not to get out of bed, but I snuck out and took a walk before she got up.  When she came in to “surprise” me I was quickly trying to change back into my jammies but didn’t have time and just jumped under the covers to feign my surprise;)  It’s not indecent right?  Just pretend I am wearing a strapless dress to bed.  So sweet that my daughter now to serve my food with digestive enzymes:)  Actually Finn is only wearing her undies and an apron so maybe it just runs in the family;)

IMG_2546 Lunch

More turkey and spinach, like you couldn’t have guessed!



Carrot puree and zucchini


I only had carrot and zucchini at dinner because I still felt full from lunch.  I think it was because I am still constipated.  It’s not that I am not going at all, but it is not often enough and too difficult to go.  Other than that, I still have some pain in my left calf and my itchy bumps.  BUT…I lost 6 pounds in the first 8 days!!!  Yay!!! I truly was not doing this to lose weight, but I was hopeful that eliminating some problematic foods would reduce my inflammation and help me shed a little weight.  I am hopeful that is what is happening.  I don’t really feel like I am eating a ton fewer calories.  I am eating 900 calories of fat a day without even considering the veggies or protein so I figure it has to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1600 calories. Plus I am not working out as hard.  I am walking and doing some very low-key bodyweight stuff for like 10 minutes most days.  That’s it.  Hopefully the trend will continue and I can drop more of these unwanted pounds:)


Bye-Bye CrossFit

My CrossFit membership expires today:(  And as much as I love it, I am not rejoining right away.  There are several reasons for that, all equally important in my view.  Number 1, we really need to put that $239 to another use.  We need a new air conditioner in the house, a new garage door, a new car, and the list goes on and on.  Number 2, two of my CrossFit gals are opening a new CrossFit gym across town.  Because of this a few of my girls will be going there and another is going to go to one closer to home.  While I am excited about their gym, it is a 30 minute drive for me and probably not feasible on a regular basis.  Lastly, as much as I loved CrossFit, I got better results when I worked out at home.  I’m not really sure what the reason is behind that.  I am completely certain that 5 days a week of CrossFit was too much for me.   I think it caused some cortisol and adrenal issues.  If I do ever go back it will probably only be a couple of days a week.

So, what am I going to be doing in the meantime?  I’m glad you asked!  I have decided to do the workout program in Paula Owens’ Fat Loss Revolution.  It is a 12 week program that you can do at home if you have the equipment.  I already had most of it and I’m just modifying for the equipment that I don’t have.  At least for now.  She basically recommends walking, rebounding, lifting heavy 3 days a week, yin yoga, and sprinting.  The program that I designed for myself for right now is a modification that looks like this:

Walking- 2 miles 5 mornings a week and 2 miles in the evening on as many days as schedule permits

Rebounding- 10  minutes daily- mainly for lymphatic flow because I have an issue with sluggish lymphatics

Yin Yoga- no schedule on this, just when I have the time or feel the desire

Heavy Lifting-  Right now I am doing 2 days a week- Tuesday and Friday.  I might bump that up at some point.

Sprinting- Not Yet.  She recommends once or twice a week.  Once I get comfortable with all the rest I might add it in if I am still sleeping well.

So that’s it!  I can say this- I was CRAZY sore after the first 2 lifting sessions!  I could absolutely tell that I was using different muscles than what I was using at CrossFit.  I have been super lax on taking pictures lately.  The few I have taken I can’t get off my phone for some reason.  Very frustrating.  However, I am going to try to take some pictures over the course of this 12 week exercise plan so we can determine if it is working.  I’ll get to posting as soon as I find some techy genius to help me out:)

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Daily Log

Sleep- Another great night thanks to the fact that my hubby was off for Labor Day. Since he works nights, this meant another night of passing out on his chest.  The real test will be tonight now that he is, sadly, back at work:(

Exercise- CrossFit at 9am.  Warm-up- 400 meter run, stretching, worked on snatch and jump shrugs, worked on plantar fascia with a lacrosse ball.  That hurt.  Apparently, mine are tight!  While the rest of the crew worked on snatch pulls (I think), I worked on overhead squats with a 15 pound bar.  This was the first time I have been able to get my arms overhead without serious pain in weeks, so it was a big moment.  The WOD today was 5 pull ups and 100 meter runs, AMRAP, 10 minutes.  I used a blue band and I got 9 rounds.  Later, I did a 12 minute Bodyrock with Doug and there was a new exercise on there called the Spiderman and it kicked our booties!  While the kids were visiting next door with my parents (yes, my parents live next door and it is fabulous), I did a 25 minute rebounder routine that I found in a magazine and wanted to try out.  I watched a rerun of Mike and Molly which I love.  Melissa McCarthy is so freakin’ awesome! LOVE HER!



2 organic chicken sausages, avocado, sweet potato hash browns

Lunch- Ok, so I didn’t really eat lunch, but is was because I made snacks for the kids for the week and I couldn’t help myself from trying them.  And once I did, I wasn’t hungry for lunch.  Here’s what I made, for the kids of course;)

Banana Nut Muffins with Chocolate chips- made with almond flour and a little honey

Essentially a Paleo Smore

I made a big batch of what essentially is a paleo graham cracker. The recipe is from Eat Like a Dinosaur.  It is made with a combo of coconut flour and almond flour.  I am freezing them so I can have them for when the kids need a “treat”.  I had just enough natural peanut butter left in the jar that I couldn’t help myself from slathering one with it and then popping on a small square of 72% dark chocolate.  It was yummy.  Oh, and the kids liked them too:)


Spaghetti Squash with olive oil, garlic and red pepper flakes

I had leftover spaghetti squash so I decided to make a version of a recipe in Well Fed.  I just sauteed garlic and red pepper flakes in olive oil then added some salt, pepper and parsley.  When it was done I topped it with the almond flour crumbs that had been toasted in coconut oil.  And for extra decadence I threw on some grass-fed cheese.  It was super simple and good.

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Another Weigh In

So I am officially down 3 pounds!  125!  No major changes, just trying to be intentional about what I want.  That includes my food.  I haven’t really changed what I eat, but I think I may be eating slightly less because I am more focused.  I think I am eating less off my kids plates and not eating the bits that are still in the pan right before I wash dishes.  Please tell me someone else does this!  I hope I am not the only one.  Only, I’m not doing it now and I think those little things add up.  They don’t really add anything to my nourishment or my pleasure, so why do them?

On another note, I went to see a dermatologist today.  I have had some places on my skin that came up when I was really sick with vasculitis 2 years ago and I really want them gone.  Nobody ever sees them but me (and my hubby sometimes, but he doesn’t care).  But, they remind me of being sick.  So I went to see her thinking that having them removed was probably out of the question because of money.  And here is what she said.  She said she has a laser that can take them right off AND that she can remove my spider veins (from pregnancy) all at the same time.  She said it would take 30 minutes and $350.  I said, “Sign me up.”  I have an appointment on the 18th and I will be so happy to have these things gone!   Say a prayer that all will go well.  I will keep you posted on the results.  I’ll even try to take some before and afters.

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Weigh In

So we prayed this week that I would weigh in at 125.8 pounds today.  Hopped on the scale and I weighed 125.6!!! It seems unbelievably simple, but changing my mind and praying are the only two things I have done differently.  When we started to pray about it together and I got honest about what I wanted and why, it changed my attitude and my outlook.  I believe that our thoughts have energy and changing my thoughts is affecting my body down to the cellular level.  I was eating right and exercising already.  To be honest, I am old hat at that.  I have had that down for a while.  Years, maybe.  But for some reason I have continued to hold on to some kind of fear.  Fear that I couldn’t succeed.  Fear that if I shined too brightly people wouldn’t like me.  I read a quote from Marianne Williamson the other day that I loved and what she said (among other things) was that by shining brightly, you don’t outshine others, you give them permission to do the same.  I LOVED that!  I love the idea that my being a bright light in this world allows someone else to let their light shine a little brighter.   That is how I am choosing to look at it now.  I want my decisions to be dictated by love and not fear.


Just as a side note, it has been an extremely crazy day.  My husband had emergency oral surgery for an abscess and my daughter has lice again!  She has a photo shoot with a photographer from L.A. on Saturday and I can’t seem to get rid of the nits in her hair!!  Arghhh!! Most of the nits are dead, but it makes me crazy picking them out of her long hair.  Her hair is so fine that they just don’t come out with the comb.  My darling husband has said he will spend his whole day tomorrow picking nits while he is numbed up on Oxycodone.  Gotta love him.

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First Weigh In

On  Friday I weighed 128 pounds.  I set my intention to weigh 126.6 by Monday morning.  I worked out as usual.  I ate as usual.  The only real differences were that I was more mindful of how my mind was  feeling and  how my body was feeling.  AND, Doug and I prayed twice a day a very specific prayer that God would help my body and my mind let go of excess weight and harmful thoughts.  I got up Monday morning and the scale said 126.4! Not only did I meet my goal, but God did me one better by exceeding it.  My next weigh in is on Thursday so I will check in with you guys then.

In other news, I am now the social director for my CrossFit gym.  A glamorous, unpaid position that I am hoping to turn into a discount if the parties go well.  I am in the process already of planning our Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas parties.  If any of you guys have an awesome party ideas, please send them my way.

Love to all of you guys for following along on my random journeys.  Hope all of you are having a super blessed week:)

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Setting New Intention

So I have a new focus for the blog for the time being.  I am going to journal about my weight loss goals.  I started out this blog with a goal of losing some weight, but then abandoned it.  I was telling myself that it just wasn’t going to happen.  Be happy with where you are.  You aren’t fat.  And some of that is true.  I’m not “fat”.  I am also not where I want to be.  I think I was lying to myself though.  I really do want to drop some weight and by denying that and was not being authentic.  I think am afraid that wanting to lose weight when I am not “overweight” will seem vain.  I don’t really think that I am vain.  I just the strength that I feel on the inside to be reflected on the outside.   Another idea that has been holding me back is the thought that it just won’t happen.  I have this notion that my body doesn’t work like other people’s bodies.  I have been eating primarily paleo for about a year and a half and I have slowly and steadily gained 15 pounds.  Yes I am working out and there is some muscle, but not 15 pounds of it.  I get really tired of hearing that.  I am not only gaining pounds, I am gaining inches.  Everyone at CrossFit who goes paleo seems to have this huge body transformation, but not me.  There is something involved in the diet that doesn’t agree with me.  It is like my body is holding on to the fat because it thinks it will need it.  I have to some how convince it to let go.  I don’t want to abandon paleo altogether because I really do believe in the science behind it.  I am, however, going to have to find some way to modify it.

This all started with some progress/fitness pictures my husband took of me last night.  We had just worked out and  I felt strong, so I told him to take a few pics from angles I have a hard time doing myself.  Well, when I looked at them, I had a nervous breakdown.  In my mind, I feel slim and strong.  But pictures and my pants beg to differ.  That is the reason I have decided to go back to the scale for a while.  I am fully aware that it does not tell the whole picture, but I need something concrete to help me move in the right direction.  There is a puzzle piece I am missing and I am going to need all my tools to figure it out.  I don’t know what my end goal is as far as weight.  My body has changed.  It has put on some muscle.  I know that today’s weight of 128 pounds is not ok.  I am going to evaluate 1 pound at a time and see how I feel at that weight.  My husband has agreed to sit and pray with me everyday about this intention and about letting go of the pounds and the negative thoughts about my body.

He says he can feel my energy shifting and that change is coming.  I think he is right.  I will keep you all posted.



Daily Log (of sorts)

Just felt the need to check in.  I still don’t really know where I am headed with this blog.  I do want to keep up with my health journey, but the daily logs were getting overwhelming.  Between work, homeschooling, CrossFit, cooking, cleaning, church responsibilities, and all my other relationships and responsibilities, I was just running out of time.  And to be honest, I don’t like doing this blog at night.  I really ant that few minutes to chill or read a book.  So for the moment, I am just going to check in, hit the highlights  and pray about where I want this to go.

My sleep habits have been pretty good for the past week.  Still having some wacky dreams that are waking me up, but I am just thankful to be sleeping.

CrossFit is going well.  My shoulder is about 70% better.  If I do too many overhead squats or push ups it still wants to act up on me.  I am in the process of earning my level 2 band, but it will probably be a while.  The only thing I have left is the overhead squat at 50% of my bodyweight and the clean and jerk at 75% of my body weight.  Today was the first day I had even done cleans without a trainer hanging over me and I did them at 55 pounds.  I could have done a little more, but still taking it easy on the shoulder.  And the overhead squat, fuggetaboutit!  It will be a while before I can do that one.  Still doing Zumba on Monday nights while Finn is in acrobatics.  And still doing Bodyrock and running with Doug whenever time permits.

There are a couple of other big things going on.  Big in my world at least.  Finn is in the process of a talent showcase.  She wants to act, so we are getting her an agent.  She got picked up my a scout who thought she was super cute, talented,etc. so she is supposed to have an agent by mid October.   We are spending a lot of time learning lines for commercials and a song from GLEE that she is singing for the finale.

The other big thing is that I finally turned our finances over to my husband.  I realized last week when I went shopping at J. Crew and then got physically ill, that I was not dealing well with spending money.  I thought I was getting sick but then realized, oh no, I am actually having a physical response to spending money that I am afraid we don’t have or should be spent (or saved) else where.  For some reason I have always handled all our money and it has never gone really well.  I pay the bills on time, our credit is good and we have never gone without food or electricity, but I have also never been able to get us out of debt or really save anything.  I definitely feel like God is calling me to allow Doug to be the head of our household.  It really has been me for the past 14 years and I don’t want the job any more.  I am totally ready to submit to Doug on this.  I can already feel the stress lifting off my shoulders.

I am planning on posting some progress pics as soon as I get Doug to take them.  The ones I was taking looked crazy!  I am hoping he will do a better job.

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Catching Up

Ok, so I know I have been remiss about posting over the past week.  I expect all of you to forgive me:))  Just as everyone else on the planet, I have been crazy busy.  I am also trying to decide where I want to take this blog.  I feel like I may have outgrown the current format.  I still want to document where I am going, especially with my health and fitness journey, but it make take me a while to find a new groove, so hang with me, will ya?

My sleeping habits have been all over the map since my last post.  A couple of nights of no sleep, a few nights of deep dreamless sleep, a night of truly erotic dreams (gasp!) and then one dream where Jesus came to me.  I know, weird. FYI, Jesus didn’t speak to me this time, He just comforted me when I lost my daughter in the dream.  Still, it was the first time I had seen Jesus (asleep or awake) and it was pretty cool.  Not sure if the image was based on reality or  my own personal idea of Jesus’ appearance, but either way it was magical.

I have been working out consistently since my last post.  CrossFit, running, Zumba and Bodyrock.  I am improving upon my run time, slowly but surely.  My last 3 mile run was 29:24.  CrossFit has started this new Levels testing.  We had the tests for achieving Level 1 today and I made it!  Yeah me!  I don’t have my sheet in front of me but I think I can remember most of it.

1. 500 unbroken jump ropes

2. 20 unbroken box jumps (20 inches)

3. 15 unbroken thrusters (55 pounds)

4. 80 air squats in 2 minutes

5. 60 sit ups in 2 minutes

6. 20 burpees in 1 minute

7. 400 meter run 1:55 (finished mine in 1:35)

8. 15 unbroken push press ( 55 pounds)

I failed with the wall balls, which was 15 unbroken wall balls with a 14 pound ball.  I only got 7.  Since we only had to pass 8 item I was still good.  I also did 3 consecutive pull ups without a band so that was big stuff for me.

I went to a new accupucturist last week.  It was interesting and I loved my time spent on the table.  I find those needles totally relaxing.  Very zen.  However, after my first treatment my hair started falling out in clumps.  Small clumps, but clumps none the less.  Very strange.  I don’t think I am going back right away.  Also, I am out of money.

Other health news, I have spoken on here before about the state of my thyroid.  The last time it was tested, it was at 5.9.  Much too high, and in need of medication according to my doctor.  Of course, I refused medication and told her I wanted to work on it on my own first.  She is gracious and lovely and knows that I never do anything she says, so she said fine.  Come back in 3 months and let’s at least make sure it isn’t getting worse.  I went back last Friday and got the test.  My results came in today and my numbers was 2.274, a huge success.  The normal range is 0.35-5.50.  I still think it needs to come down a little more, but this is huge progress.  It does however leave me wondering why I haven’t dropped some of this weight and why my hair is still falling out???  Maybe with a little more time that will improve.  I’ll keep you posted.
The food around here has been good, but pretty standard for us.  I did make a new chicken nugget recipe called Fool’s Gold from Eat Like a Dinosaur tonight and the kids loved it.  Finally.  Most of my recipes lately have left my boys going to bed hungry.

Fool’s Gold Chicken Nuggets

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Daily Log

Sleep- Another night of falling asleep drooling on my husband’s chest.  Sexy, right?  I know that is what all guys are looking for:))  So maybe not sexy, but a peaceful and safe way to fall asleep in my opinion.  Again, slept until almost 8:00.  Pretty awesome!

Exercise- No 9am CrossFit because of Labor Day.   Doug and I went for a 5k run instead.  Clocked in at 33 minutes exactly.  My goal is to be able to do it in 30 minutes, but I’m not in a big hurry to get there.  Today I just wanted to enjoy the run with my husband.  Around 5:00pm we did a 12 minute Bodyrock workout that was pretty tough.



2 egg omelet with spinach, red peppers, cheese and sausage; organic strawberries

Very weird picture, but it really is and omelet.  Some of the sausage was just piled on top.  Doug made these for us after our run.


Organic apple with sunflowerseed butter

Breakfast was really filling and kinda late so I wasn’t super hungry at lunch.


Mini DQ Reese’s Blizzard- 1/2 Empty

So I promised my daughter ice cream if she did well getting her picture made today.  Parker aka “Booger Mustache” is also a professional photographer so he came back today to get some shots of Finn.  She insists that she wants to be on TV so she has an audition with a casting agency on Saturday.  We have to bring some non-returnable photos to give them so Parker is helping us out.  Back to the snack, all the kids and Parker had a dip cone, but I got a mini Reese’s blizzard and just had half.  As soon as the really good bites were gone, I chunked it.


Thai Hot Plate from Well Fed

Once again I thought this was delish, but the kids wouldn’t touch it this go around.  My boys have gotten crazy picky over the last week.  One of my sons ate nothing today except the dip cone.  He now claims he doesn’t like eggs or sausage so breakfast was out.  At lunch he claimed not to be hungry, but since he didn’t eat breakfast I don’t know how that is possible.  At dinner he said he was hungry but took one look and decided he would rather go to bed.  Oh well, I don’t fix “extra” meals.  You get what you get at our house.  Here’s hoping he doesn’t starve!



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