From Here to Health

My journey back from autoimmune disease

ED Day 9

Finn made me breakfast in bed this morning.  She didn’t get to be very creative since my diet is so limited, but she didn’t seem to care.  It was the standard turkey and spinach with chives and a drizzle of garlic oil.  It was especially good since I didn’t have to make it myself.  I look a little naked in the picture below because I am.  Finn had told me not to get out of bed, but I snuck out and took a walk before she got up.  When she came in to “surprise” me I was quickly trying to change back into my jammies but didn’t have time and just jumped under the covers to feign my surprise;)  It’s not indecent right?  Just pretend I am wearing a strapless dress to bed.  So sweet that my daughter now to serve my food with digestive enzymes:)  Actually Finn is only wearing her undies and an apron so maybe it just runs in the family;)

IMG_2546 Lunch

More turkey and spinach, like you couldn’t have guessed!

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Dinner

Carrot puree and zucchini

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I only had carrot and zucchini at dinner because I still felt full from lunch.  I think it was because I am still constipated.  It’s not that I am not going at all, but it is not often enough and too difficult to go.  Other than that, I still have some pain in my left calf and my itchy bumps.  BUT…I lost 6 pounds in the first 8 days!!!  Yay!!! I truly was not doing this to lose weight, but I was hopeful that eliminating some problematic foods would reduce my inflammation and help me shed a little weight.  I am hopeful that is what is happening.  I don’t really feel like I am eating a ton fewer calories.  I am eating 900 calories of fat a day without even considering the veggies or protein so I figure it has to be somewhere in the neighborhood of 1600 calories. Plus I am not working out as hard.  I am walking and doing some very low-key bodyweight stuff for like 10 minutes most days.  That’s it.  Hopefully the trend will continue and I can drop more of these unwanted pounds:)

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ED Day 3

I know it is crazy boring, but Day 3 looked just like Day 1 and Day 2 as far as food goes.  The strange thing about it is that it really hasn’t bothered me.  My cravings have been SO mild.  What is up with that???  Usually when I start some program like this the cravings are OFF THE CHARTS!!!  I try to come up with ANY random excuse I can to indulge in something off plan.  And this is the strictest plan of any I have ever been on.  I am seeing that alone as a total blessing and success:))

As for symptoms, they were a little different today.  Let’s keep the good news rolling first.  I had no stomach pain today!  Woo Hoot!! That is a rare occurrence.   I don’t have horrible stomach issues everyday, but I usually have some sort of minor discomfort at the very least.  Today, nothing!  Ok, well, nothing is not really true.  While I did not have any pain or bloating, I did have loose stools.  I know that is TMI, but modesty about bodily functions left me long ago.  When you are really suffering, you get to where you don’t care what you have to tell… doctors, practitioners, friends, random strangers, whoever might be able to help.  And I am hoping some information in my story will help somebody at some point, so I am not holding back on the gory details.  Back to the poop, it was only a couple of times, but it was definitely loose and the food was not fully digested.  I have been out of my digestive enzymes for 2 days, so I am thinking there is a real possibility that it is more due to that than to the change in diet.  Or could be a combination.  Maybe by the end of this process I won’t be so dependent on the digestive enzymes.  We’ll see.  My hair loss was also better today. But my gums were still super sore and my legs are still broken out with the itchy bumps.

Because I have been out of bone broth, I have been drinking grass-fed gelatin in my rooibos tea.  Rooibos tea is a little bit of an acquired taste I think.  I have gotten to where I like it.  Especially when it it the only option besides water or bone broth!  This Great Lakes gelatin dissolves in cold drinks and you can’t taste it at all.  I don’t think it is as good as drinking grass-fed bone broth, but it is a good quick option.

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Weigh In

So we prayed this week that I would weigh in at 125.8 pounds today.  Hopped on the scale and I weighed 125.6!!! It seems unbelievably simple, but changing my mind and praying are the only two things I have done differently.  When we started to pray about it together and I got honest about what I wanted and why, it changed my attitude and my outlook.  I believe that our thoughts have energy and changing my thoughts is affecting my body down to the cellular level.  I was eating right and exercising already.  To be honest, I am old hat at that.  I have had that down for a while.  Years, maybe.  But for some reason I have continued to hold on to some kind of fear.  Fear that I couldn’t succeed.  Fear that if I shined too brightly people wouldn’t like me.  I read a quote from Marianne Williamson the other day that I loved and what she said (among other things) was that by shining brightly, you don’t outshine others, you give them permission to do the same.  I LOVED that!  I love the idea that my being a bright light in this world allows someone else to let their light shine a little brighter.   That is how I am choosing to look at it now.  I want my decisions to be dictated by love and not fear.

 

Just as a side note, it has been an extremely crazy day.  My husband had emergency oral surgery for an abscess and my daughter has lice again!  She has a photo shoot with a photographer from L.A. on Saturday and I can’t seem to get rid of the nits in her hair!!  Arghhh!! Most of the nits are dead, but it makes me crazy picking them out of her long hair.  Her hair is so fine that they just don’t come out with the comb.  My darling husband has said he will spend his whole day tomorrow picking nits while he is numbed up on Oxycodone.  Gotta love him.

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First Weigh In

On  Friday I weighed 128 pounds.  I set my intention to weigh 126.6 by Monday morning.  I worked out as usual.  I ate as usual.  The only real differences were that I was more mindful of how my mind was  feeling and  how my body was feeling.  AND, Doug and I prayed twice a day a very specific prayer that God would help my body and my mind let go of excess weight and harmful thoughts.  I got up Monday morning and the scale said 126.4! Not only did I meet my goal, but God did me one better by exceeding it.  My next weigh in is on Thursday so I will check in with you guys then.

In other news, I am now the social director for my CrossFit gym.  A glamorous, unpaid position that I am hoping to turn into a discount if the parties go well.  I am in the process already of planning our Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas parties.  If any of you guys have an awesome party ideas, please send them my way.

Love to all of you guys for following along on my random journeys.  Hope all of you are having a super blessed week:)

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Setting New Intention

So I have a new focus for the blog for the time being.  I am going to journal about my weight loss goals.  I started out this blog with a goal of losing some weight, but then abandoned it.  I was telling myself that it just wasn’t going to happen.  Be happy with where you are.  You aren’t fat.  And some of that is true.  I’m not “fat”.  I am also not where I want to be.  I think I was lying to myself though.  I really do want to drop some weight and by denying that and was not being authentic.  I think am afraid that wanting to lose weight when I am not “overweight” will seem vain.  I don’t really think that I am vain.  I just the strength that I feel on the inside to be reflected on the outside.   Another idea that has been holding me back is the thought that it just won’t happen.  I have this notion that my body doesn’t work like other people’s bodies.  I have been eating primarily paleo for about a year and a half and I have slowly and steadily gained 15 pounds.  Yes I am working out and there is some muscle, but not 15 pounds of it.  I get really tired of hearing that.  I am not only gaining pounds, I am gaining inches.  Everyone at CrossFit who goes paleo seems to have this huge body transformation, but not me.  There is something involved in the diet that doesn’t agree with me.  It is like my body is holding on to the fat because it thinks it will need it.  I have to some how convince it to let go.  I don’t want to abandon paleo altogether because I really do believe in the science behind it.  I am, however, going to have to find some way to modify it.

This all started with some progress/fitness pictures my husband took of me last night.  We had just worked out and  I felt strong, so I told him to take a few pics from angles I have a hard time doing myself.  Well, when I looked at them, I had a nervous breakdown.  In my mind, I feel slim and strong.  But pictures and my pants beg to differ.  That is the reason I have decided to go back to the scale for a while.  I am fully aware that it does not tell the whole picture, but I need something concrete to help me move in the right direction.  There is a puzzle piece I am missing and I am going to need all my tools to figure it out.  I don’t know what my end goal is as far as weight.  My body has changed.  It has put on some muscle.  I know that today’s weight of 128 pounds is not ok.  I am going to evaluate 1 pound at a time and see how I feel at that weight.  My husband has agreed to sit and pray with me everyday about this intention and about letting go of the pounds and the negative thoughts about my body.

He says he can feel my energy shifting and that change is coming.  I think he is right.  I will keep you all posted.

 

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Daily Log (of sorts)

Just felt the need to check in.  I still don’t really know where I am headed with this blog.  I do want to keep up with my health journey, but the daily logs were getting overwhelming.  Between work, homeschooling, CrossFit, cooking, cleaning, church responsibilities, and all my other relationships and responsibilities, I was just running out of time.  And to be honest, I don’t like doing this blog at night.  I really ant that few minutes to chill or read a book.  So for the moment, I am just going to check in, hit the highlights  and pray about where I want this to go.

My sleep habits have been pretty good for the past week.  Still having some wacky dreams that are waking me up, but I am just thankful to be sleeping.

CrossFit is going well.  My shoulder is about 70% better.  If I do too many overhead squats or push ups it still wants to act up on me.  I am in the process of earning my level 2 band, but it will probably be a while.  The only thing I have left is the overhead squat at 50% of my bodyweight and the clean and jerk at 75% of my body weight.  Today was the first day I had even done cleans without a trainer hanging over me and I did them at 55 pounds.  I could have done a little more, but still taking it easy on the shoulder.  And the overhead squat, fuggetaboutit!  It will be a while before I can do that one.  Still doing Zumba on Monday nights while Finn is in acrobatics.  And still doing Bodyrock and running with Doug whenever time permits.

There are a couple of other big things going on.  Big in my world at least.  Finn is in the process of a talent showcase.  She wants to act, so we are getting her an agent.  She got picked up my a scout who thought she was super cute, talented,etc. so she is supposed to have an agent by mid October.   We are spending a lot of time learning lines for commercials and a song from GLEE that she is singing for the finale.

The other big thing is that I finally turned our finances over to my husband.  I realized last week when I went shopping at J. Crew and then got physically ill, that I was not dealing well with spending money.  I thought I was getting sick but then realized, oh no, I am actually having a physical response to spending money that I am afraid we don’t have or should be spent (or saved) else where.  For some reason I have always handled all our money and it has never gone really well.  I pay the bills on time, our credit is good and we have never gone without food or electricity, but I have also never been able to get us out of debt or really save anything.  I definitely feel like God is calling me to allow Doug to be the head of our household.  It really has been me for the past 14 years and I don’t want the job any more.  I am totally ready to submit to Doug on this.  I can already feel the stress lifting off my shoulders.

I am planning on posting some progress pics as soon as I get Doug to take them.  The ones I was taking looked crazy!  I am hoping he will do a better job.

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Daily Log

Sleep– Fell asleep really easily lying on my husband’s chest watching Downton Abbey.  Alas, he wanted to get up and work on the computer for a while and that woke me up.  So I dozed off and on until he came back to bed, then read for a while, then went back to sleep until 8:00am.  I prefer sleeping all the way through the night, but at no point did I feel exhausted or stressed over being awake.  I take that as a small victory.

Exercise- Rest day.  Doug and I did take a walk around Shelby Farms in the afternoon. 2.88 miles

Food- “Todd and Summer” and the baby are in town and it is “Todd’s” birthday, 31 years.  I mention this to let you know in advance that we ate with family all day and in a celebratory manner.  I enjoyed all the food, and no guilt, but I did end the day with some indigestion.

Breakfast

Veggie Scramble, Avocado, 1 Turkey Sausage, Organic Strawberries

Lunch

Organic Mixed Green, Roast Chicken, Avocado, Mango Salsa, BBQ Sauce, Toasted Almonds

Ok, so breakfast and lunch really weren’t too bad.  The BBQ sauce was a little sweet but other than that it was good.  I neglected to get a picture of our birthday dessert.  My brother has always had a thing for mint chocolate anything.  So…I made him gluten free chocolate brownies with Andes mints in the middle.  We had these warm from the oven topped with deluxe mint chip ice cream with fudge swirl and mint cups.  Then it was topped with chopped gluten free oreos and hot fudge.  I didn’t have a giant portion, but it was rich.  Still, I didn’t feel too bad after that.  It was dinner that got me.  Once again, I didn’t get a picture.  And really, I don’t know why it bothered me so much.  We essentially had a taco/nacho bar.  I had a small portion of organic corn tortilla chips with seasoned organic beef, colby jack cheese, salsa and homemade guacamole.  I don’t know if it was the chips, the cheese or just too much food in general today, but my stomach felt all jacked up by  the time I was done eating.  It hung on until the morning:(

We spent a lot of time just hanging out and visiting with family and friends.  This is my daughter Finn curled up with my brother’s best friend, Parker, whom she affectionately calls Booger Mustache.

Parker & Finn

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Daily Log

Sleep- Slept from 10:30 to 7:30 except for the few minutes when Jesus woke me up around 3:45.  And yes, you read that right.  Jesus spoke to me last night and woke me up.  I was having a dream in which I was speaking to my grandfather who is very ill.  The relationship is very strained and he does not know my kids because of it (his choice, not mine).  In the dream, I come to my grandfather (I am leaving out other details that I do think have meaning, but I’m just going to cut to the Jesus part) and he says, “So tell me about those boys.”  And I say, “They are loving, sweet, so smart and they show Jesus to people every day.”  And what really seemed like an audible voice says in my ear (loud enough to wake me up) “So do you.”  My husband works night, no one else was around.  I am convinced it was Jesus.  I am always so quick to see the good in my kids or my friends.  I always encourage others to tap into the divinity in themselves.  But often when it comes to looking at myself, I am a very harsh and judgmental critic.  I’m taking this as a sign to love myself and own my own little piece of the divine.  It will be a journey, but I am going to pray that Jesus continues to reveal himself to me.

Exercise-CrossFit at 9am.  Still can’t lift, but I did the warm-up- 300 jump ropes, 10-15-10 pull ups (blue and red band), 30 push ups (I started these and then my trainer said NO), fascia stretches for the achilles tendon. During the lift I did squats and sit ups.  The WOD had to be modified – 10 pull ups, 5 knees to elbows, 7 one leg elevated squats (each leg) 5 rounds.  My time was 8:40.  At around 5:30 I did 24 minutes of Bodyrock with Doug.  No weights, just cardio/bodyweight stuff.

Food-

Breakfast

Leftover Hot Plate with a scrambled egg

Lunch

Chick-fil-A 6 pack grilled nuggets kids’ meal w/unsweet tea

Alright, not paleo.  But it was worth it to share lunch and shopping with these 2 sweet faces.

Cooper enjoying fried rice and honey chicken at the mall

Presley doing the exact same thing. Go figure, twins!

Dinner

organic apple, sunflower seed butter, grass-fed cheese

Wasn’t super hungry and didn’t feel like cooking.

Snack- I made some Zucchini Bread from Eat Like a Dinosaur and I had a slice fresh from the oven.  Will try to post a picture tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

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Daily Log

Sorry I have been a little remiss about posting.  This lack of sleep thing has gotten my schedule all out of whack.  Last night I slept from 3am to 7am.  Honestly, not as bad as some nights but certainly not great.  I spent the first half of the night trying to cast out demons in Jesus’ name.  Some of you might think that is a little whacky, but I happen to believe that angels and demons are real and that we are in a time of change on the planet right now and these “other beings” are very active.  I believe it is Biblical.  Anyway, I believe (and have had confirmation from others) that I am highly sensitive to different energies.  I think a lot of what is going on with me has to do with the shifting energies on our planet.  How weird do you guys think I am now? 🙂  I will keep you posted about developments in this area.

As for exercise, it was a rest day from CrossFit, but I did run 3 miles on the treadmill.  29:46

Food

Breakfast- scrambled eggs and 1 nitrite free sausage patty

Lunch- It was Finn’s first day of Homeschool Mother’s Day Out and I did some errands and shopping sans children. Woo Hoo!  Time really got away from me and before I knew it, it was 2:00!  Chipotle is very near her school, so I stopped in there and got my usual salad- lettuce, grilled veggies, pork, pico, salsa and guacamole. Yummy!

Finn waiting at the door to leave for “school”

Dinner- I can’t get enough of this particular Middle Eastern Hot Plate from Well Fed.

Steamy Red Cabbage with onion, garlic, spices

Added in the garlic browned grass-fed beef

Added spaghetti squash and parsley to finish

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Daily Log

Sleep- Hallelujah! Hallelujah!  I slept for 9  hours!  It’s about time since for the past seven nights I probably haven’t gotten 9 hours total!  Now I feel like I can return to the land of the living and get back to blogging. My daughter didn’t even get up last night. No spider nightmares!  Totally praying this continues.  I am a much more effective mother, wife, coach, human being, etc. when I have had a good nights’ sleep.

Exercise- CrossFit at 9am.  My shoulder is much better, but my trainer has told me no lifting for the next 2 weeks.  I did some stretching then I did 50 ring pull ups.  The WOD today was wall balls and burpees.  I felt like I could do burpees, but trainer said no, so my WOD was 15 Wall Ball Touches (10# ball) with a squat and then 7 jump squats for 10 minutes.  I got 11 rounds.  At 5pm I did a 12 minute Bodyrock workout with Doug and then a 3 minute Bodyrock Ab Bonus.  Also 10 minutes on the rebounder.  I am planning on doing some stretching before bed, but as it is only 7:30, that remains to be seen.

Food- Let me just say that my food choices may be a little random since payday is Friday and we are basically out of food.  I am trying to make do with what we have which isn’t easy.

Breakfast

Sweet potato hashbrowns, 1 nitrate free sausage patty, 1/2 small avocado

Lunch

More sweet potato hashbrown, cauliflower “mashed potatoes”, organic frozen wild blueberries, peanut butter on gluten free crackers

Sorry for the fuzzy picture.  The cauliflower is from Well Fed and I thought it was awesome!

Dinner

Wild Alaskan Salmon Cakes and Organic Broccoli with Grass-Fed Butter

LOVE me some grass-fed butter.  Everything is better with just a little bit:))

 

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