From Here to Health

My journey back from autoimmune disease

First Soccer Game

So Finn had her first soccer game this morning.  Promise me no judgement for what I am about to say, but….she sucked!  I know that is probably super harsh to say about a 6-year-old, but it’s true.  Don’t get me wrong, she looked cute in her uniform and  I was proud of her regardless, but it would be dishonest to say anything other than…she sucked!  The game as a whole was pretty hard to watch. It was 11-1 when I quit keeping up with the score.  I actually had to disengage by the fourth quarter because I didn’t want to be one of those parents screaming, “Just kick the freakin’ ball!!!”  I think I was judging myself for not being one of those moms who don’t care how their kid performs and just wants them to have fun.  I definitely want her to have fun, but I would be lying if I said I didn’t want her to engage and do her best. And kick the ball.  I REALLY wanted her to kick the ball! Maybe soccer just isn’t her thing?  She’s good at lots of things so maybe it was just odd to see her try something she didn’t have a natural aptitude for?  I’m bringing this up on a “health” blog because I believe that our thoughts about ourselves are powerful and this situation had me judging myself for not being the “perfect” mom.  I didn’t yell at her.  Or shame her.  Or make any negative comment at all.  But I also didn’t gush on and on about how great she was (like I heard some other parents doing) when she honestly wasn’t great.  Was I supposed to?  I did hug and kiss her sweaty little body and ask her if she had fun and she said yes.  So I left it at that.  Until we got home.  Then I told her I would take her to get frozen yogurt after the next game if she kicked the ball 3 times.  Was that wrong? I’m trying to remember that God gave her to me specifically for a reason.  I am the “perfect” mother for her.  When I compare myself to other people (perfect soccer moms in this situation, but I can find someone to judge myself against for any situation), it never works out in my favor.  There is always someone seemingly doing better than me.  Looking better than me.  Performing better than me.  Achieving more than me.  I always feel better when I’m not comparing myself to others, but living confidently in my own skin.  This is really hard to do on a consistent basis.  It’s one of those things I do for a season and then something comes along to disrupt it.  This seems to be a lesson that I  need to learn over and over again.  One of many:)  And while I would never say it to her now, I hope when she is grown, we can talk and  laugh about the things she sucked at because she is so confident in her skin that those things will just roll of her back.

photo(38)

Advertisements
Leave a comment »

New Paleo Books

So look what my sweet husband ordered for me!! So excited when they came in the mail yesterday!!  I haven’t had time to really dive into them yet, but expect to see some reviews and some comments on my favorite recipes in the coming weeks.  I have had 2 extra kids with me this week.  One for a friend who was working and another for a friend who is out of town on a grown- ups only trip.  So jealous!!  And tomorrow night I will have 7 six- year old girls for a sleepover birthday party.  My house looks a little like a pepto bismal accident in here because of it, but she will love it!  Then add in the dirt, leaves, legos, marbles and wet clothes that the 3 boys have been strowing everywhere and you have a pretty good mental picture of what my home looks like right now;)  Kids!!  Oh, well.  They are having a ball and I am just trying to breath through it and remember how much fun they are having and what good memories they are making:)  I’m sure when they are older all that quiet time I thought I was craving will seem like a distant memory and I will long to hear the laughter and noise.

Plenty of end of summer reading and cooking ahead

Plenty of end of summer reading and cooking ahead

Leave a comment »

What Went Well Wednesday

I’m not going to lie to you guys, it was hard to come up with a list today.  This is not the post to list my grievances, so I will do that later.

1.  Played a fun game of Mario Yatzee with my boys

2.  Took a walk with my daughter

3.  Watched Rise of the Guardians snuggled up with all three of my babies

4.  We got all of our homeschool assignments done for the day

5.  A baked sweet potato with grass fed butter and cinnamon that hit the spot

6.  My second go at bone broth didn’t make me want to puke:)

Leave a comment »

Church…the hardest place to go paleo?

So I finally decided not to take the cracker part of communion today.  For the longest time, I just didn’t even think about it.  For all my vigilance in other areas, it just didn’t occur to me that I was taking in a dose of gluten with my communion.  I think it was because I wasn’t thinking about nourishing my body but rather my spirit when it came to taking communion.  As I have continued to struggle with a degree of digestive issues I have been looking at things that could be contributing and this came to mind several months ago.  You would probably think that once I made the connection I would have immediately cut it out, but I was very reluctant to do so.  First off, it is a sacred ritual and we really don’t have very many of those in the Church of Christ.  My church is a very liberal version of the Church of Christ denomination, but there are still very few things like that.  I have been to Catholic, Methodist and Episcopalian churches that were (in my opinion) pretty heavy on the ritual type things.  I was a little turned off by them when I was younger, I think because it didn’t feel authentic to me.  But as I have gotten older, things like that seem to hold more appeal. I have realized the connection is dependent on me, not the ritual per se.  The point is, communion felt like a sacred ritual that I didn’t want to give up.  And secondly, I think I had this notion that God would surely suspend the laws of nature and gluten sensitivity during communion because, come on, it’s COMMUNION. It wasn’t like I was trying to rationalize eating one of the ever-present donuts that are in abundance at Sunday service.  So today I just took the juice.  I’m wondering next week if I should take my own gluten-free cracker with me?

On a similar note, I have found that between the donuts and snacks in Sunday school, it is hard to keep my kids gluten-free at church.  In the beginning, I spoke to their teachers and even sent snacks with my youngest.  Over time, I somehow got out of the habit of doing those things.  But today my boys’ (who are 10) teacher told us that they are the only 2 boys in the class who never eat a donut when all the other boys run to the kitchen to get one.  And my daughter (who is 5) told me today that they had 2 snacks in class today but they both had wheat and gluten so she didn’t eat them.  I was super proud.  They are listening to me.  And they are trusting the information I give them and making decisions to benefit their health even when I am not around.  That is obviously what I want.  I want them to know that they have the power to impact their own health and they don’t have to just do (or eat) what everybody else is doing.  And I am choosing to believe that God brought these revelations to me at church today to let me know that we can go gluten-free at church and it will be ok, communion cracker or not:)

Leave a comment »